REVENGE RAP PHONE MESSAGE

Oh, man, what a great idea! This guy, Rap Master Maurice, is making a living from what is evidently a big demand for passive aggressive messages to be delivered via telephone. Specifically, rap messages. Isn’t that too cool? Imagine the scenarios….

• Your boyfriend forgot your anniversary and your birthday, and when reminded, produced a CD that he’d been wanting himself or a bath set someone obviously gave his 80-year-old grandmother who must have saved it for re-gifting.
• Your best friend is perpetually late for everything, and always has the most lame-assed, crazy-making excuses.
• A friend has owed you fifty bucks since you put that concert ticket on your mother’s credit card last year and was supposed to pay you the week after the concert when they got paid.

The possibilities are limitless! And revenge can be yours for a mere twelve bucks! Okay, maybe not revenge. But at least a good laugh at their utter confusion as the call recipients listen to Rap Master Maurice rhyme about their misdeeds. This is the coolest idea since the invention of DVR! Maybe I should start up a competing business….

 Yo, you said you wuz busted; not a crust in the house
 But you had to get to Montreal to see Modest Mouse
 So I fronted you the ticket, put it on my mother’s Visa bill
 Now a year later, I gotta get up in your grill?

Okay, maybe not. But check out the master’s rhymes. His are actually cool. I think he’ll call any area code. He’s in the US, but I understand a good chunk of his customers are Canadian.

NOTE: Rap Master Maurice denies that he wears a dress. That's a "one piece revenge kilt" he's rocking.

Norah Wilson
(the Wilson in Wilson Doherty)